This is a story I uploaded on Fanfiction.net.... lol
Chapter 1
Understanding
I
really don't like Mondays. They are an excuse to go to do whatever the
hell that you're boss-or, in my case, manager- tells you to do. Like go
into work, at 5 in the morning. And if that wasn't enough, I had a
hangover from last night. Yeah, I was underage, but who gives a Sugar?
Not me, an Uchiha. Uchihas' don't give a damn about anything. But, I
was the exception on some things. I tired to not care, to not get all
emotional. So, I could be like Itachi. All throughout my childhood,
that's all I ever wanted; to be like Itachi.But, that aside, I am now out the studio, with my band, Suicidal Ducktape,
practicing the same song for the past 2 hours. "Okay, once more."
Kakashi, our manager, told us. I sighed irritatedly, but did as I was
told. I started to play on my guitar, and started to sing. Naruto
started to play as well.
"Every time we lie awake. After every hit we take. Every feeling that I get. But I haven't missed you yet."Gaara
started on the drums, Neji just laid back, not playing on the keyboard,
Lily started on her guitar, and Itachi played bass guitar."Every roommate kept awake. By every sigh and scream we make. All the feelings that I get. But I still don't miss you yet
Only when I stop to think about it..."
The tempo sped up and Itachi got ready for his place as to help me with
back-up singing, as well as guitar, standing next to me. (Okay, that's
a little confusing...)"I hate everything about you.
Why.... do I... love you?!
I hate everything about you.
Why do I love youEvery time we lie awake
After every hit we take
Every feeling that I get
But I haven't missed you yetOnly when I stop to think about itI hate everything about you
Why do I love you
I hate everything about you
Why do I love you-""Stop."
Kakashi commanded on the other side of the glass window, through the
microphone. Everyone stopped playing, unhappily. "What is it now
Kakashi-sensei!?" Naruto whined. I hit him upside the head. "What was
the for teme?!" Naruto yelled at me, holding his head. "Hn. Dobe." Was
all I said. I loved getting Naruto all agitated and annoyed. It was fun
mentally screwing people up. But, I was getting annoyed as well. My
headache and nausea didn't help either. But, being the patient Uchiha I
was, I didn't say anything. I knew better. Or, I guess not."Are
we almost done?" I growled. So much for having patience. My head was
throbbing painfully. Itachi chuckled. Kakashi sighed. "Fine. You all
may take a 2 hour break. Come back around noon at the latest." Everyone
sighed happily and Naruto jumped up and yelled out something random,
like always. I took my guitar over to it's black case. It had a blood
red eye that I drew on it, along with our logo for our band, Suicidal
Ducktape. I can't even remember who came up with the name, it just
sorta happened one day, like the band. One day in grade school, we kind
of just became friends. Gaara and I pretty much were always friends
because of our similar backgrounds. Neji and me were gay, so we got
along pretty well. Naruto had always been so cheerful and pushy, and so
when he saw me, moody, depressive and emo because of the Uchiha
Massacre, he wanted to make me smile and help me so badly. Just like
how I was with Itachi.I needed his attention, more then anything
else, even now. Though, I try to hide it. I don't know why, but I
always did need it. It made me feel bubbly inside whenever I got his
praise or aknowlagement. It made me happy to no end. I liked feeling
that way, so I tried to do my best to get it. Before long, I craved for
it. But, it wasn't just his words and attention I craved. I wanted him
to touch me. Not in a sick or perverted way, but like brothers. When I
was a lot younger, I used to sneak into his room at night and go into
his room. He always waited up for me, and when I came, we snuggled and
eventually falling asleep. I always fell asleep with a smile on my face.But,
around my 11th birthday, that all changed. Itachi became more like... I
don't know how to describe it.. He just, like.... became detached,
pretty much. He barely talked anymore, he always had a dead look in his
eyes, and he always seemed to be dreading something. I was the only one
who could make him smile anymore. Whenever I smiled, his eyes lit up
and glittered, so I smiled more. At least, I tried to.Around my
12th birthday, I realized something very important. I was in love with
Itachi. Not in a brotherly way. I think I had always knew deep down and
I loved him more than I should. How'd I realize this? Well, Gaara
pointed it out to me. He said that I was really happy and bubbly
whenever Itachi was near. It was like seeing a lovesick teenage girl
with her obsession. I shook my head and said no, that couldn't be
right. I already knew that I was gay, but I wasn't incestive.... was I?
It took about a month for me to realize and for it to sunk in. Gaara
didn't tell anyone else this fact. It was our secret. I couldn't tell
anyone else it. My dad was always excepting too much of us already, so
I could never tell him. I thought about telling my mom, but that was a
no. She wouldn't really approve. F***, neither of them knew that I was
gay. Itachi did though. He didn't really care, he just supported me.A week after my 12th birthday, I found my whole family dead. And when I mean my whole family, I literally mean my WHOLE
family. Aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and most of all, mom and
dad. I was walking home from school and Itachi stayed home because he
was sick with the flu. I walked in through my gate to find bodies
everywhere: bloody aunts and cousins acorss the lawn, my uncle had
kunais in his throat and he was by the front door, they were all dead.
This scared me to fucking hell. All thoughts about Itachi came at me at
once. Thoughts like 'Where was he?' and 'Is he dead or hurt?'
were in my head and made my tearing as I opened the front door. I
walked in to find my mother and father, dead and bloody, in a pile. My
nii-san was no where to be found. I called out to him, frantically.
"ANIKI?! Aniki oh god, where are you?" I searched everywhere, trying to
find him. When I couldn't, I ran to my room, locked the door, and
called 911. I told them what had happened and that I couldn't find my
older brother. They said to remain calm and that they would be sending
people ASAP. I said okay and told them where I lived, the Uchiha
Estate. We were wealthy, so we had our own estate. It has been passed
down from generation to generation. So, because of this, Itachi or I,
would own it. I pressed the off button on my cell and just looked at
it. All thoughts of my love being dead came to me at once, and I broke
down and cried. It felt like forever until I stopped. The people did
not come yet, so I put down my phone on dresser and pulled out my Ipod
to calm me down, though I was still sniffling. I listened to the first
song of my black Ipod Nano that had the Uchiha symbol on the back. I
sang along with it.Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to proveOh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had wonGive me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you chooseOh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won...
I
don't know why, but I liked this song a lot. Itachi once made this his
ringtone for me. But, he changed it to Earthquake by Family Force 5.I
suddenly sat up from where I was on my bed. I could call Aniki's
phone!! I quickly grabbed my cell and held down the "2" button, which
was the shortcut to his phone. I heard his ringtone in another room.GET DOWN!!!!I saw shawty dancin' on the floor
I'm kind of nervous to approach her though
He's so stylish like a supermodel
Should I meet him (Yes I think you oughta)
The needle dropped
My track was hot
We began to rock
Our eyes were lockedI got up from my bed and followed the sound, out of my room.
I LUV UR SONG
Yeah boy sing along
He said DJ's MAKE MY HEARTACHE
I said Baby watch the place shake like an EarthquakeI
followed the song into Aniki's room. I waited for him to pick up. I
walked aways from his door, right next to a window. It had started
raining.Drop that 8o8
The wall's begin to shake
It's to much for the club to take
It's shakin' like an Earthquake
Devastation from the sounds I'm makin'
And there's no escaping from the bass
It's shakin' like an EarthquakeIt was then that I heard him softly singing the song. I almost cried from the amount of relief that washed over me.10.0 on the richter scale
It's shakin' like an Earthquake
Move ur tail
Bout that time my people all were quakin'
Another 10.0 was in the ma-"Otouto..."I almost cried. Almost."Aniki, you're safe.." My voice cracked."Yes, I am. Why? Where are you?""Guess." I could tell his eyes widened from the tone of his voice. Why?"You're here?" I nodded dumbly. He couldn't see me through the phone....duh.."Hai." I heard the sirens of firetrucks, ambulances, and police cars coming from down the road. He must've hear them too."Come into my room. Now. " His tone slightly surprised me. Was he mad at me?"Yes, Aniki."I
shut my phone and ran into the raven's room. I opened the door and let
myself in. Itachi was laying on his bed, facing me. I ran to him and
cried. “They are all dead, 'niki! There was so many bodies!” He held me
closer and I clung onto him, crying. I heard someone break down the
door downstairs and call up to us. Itachi yelled back, but kept me
close still. I looked around the room and noticed how dark and black
everything was. It was incredibly... emo, for lack of a better
word. I also noticed that under his bed, lay bloody clothes and bloody
kunais, throwing stars, and a katana. I suspected that Itachi had
killed them. Who else would've done it? They pushed Itachi too far, and
he slaughtered our whole family, except me and him.I didn't hate
him for it. F*** no. I could never hate Itachi. But, I didn't want to
believe it. But, who else could've done it? The evidence was all right
there. I was scared of Itachi right then. He could've easily killed me
as well. But... he didn't... Did that mean he loves me more? Or, did he
deliberately want to hurt me? I heard knocking on the door, Itachi
answered it, we were taken to some place by some person, and it was all
pretty much confusing and blurry after that. The next thing I remember,
we were back at the mansion, and Itachi was helping me learn how to
play guitar and it was a month later. Weird. But, whatever. Dwelling in
the past makes me too emo depressive, so I try not to do it so often.
Which, in fact, is rather hard because of the nightmares I always had.
But, our whole band has issues, so nothing too abnormal.See, Gaara and Naruto have split personalities.Gaara
is usually somewhat nice and emo. His other side, Subaku, is totally
bloody thirsty and homicidal and a guy. He's got in juvi plenty of
times because of it. But, Subaku only comes out when Gaara's drunk,
asleep, or really pisses, which doesn't happen too often anymore. Plus,
Gaara is an insomniac because of Subaku, so he is really fucked up.Naruto's
other side is homicidal, but motherly. She's called Kyuubi. She's comes
out when he's drunk, sad, or completely pissed off. He doesn't really
pissed off too much. He's an orphan, so being sad is an always thing,
and he rarely ever gets drunk. When Kyuubi comes off, she either wrecks
havoc, or is incredibly sweet and protective. She's completely random
about it though, so you never know which one is going to come out.Neji
is a cross-dresser and he is in love with his cousin, Hinata. He looks
so much like a girl, you wouldn't know he was a guy until he thoroughly
convinced you.Itachi, my older brother, is just... Itachi. He
listens to emo depressive (Daisy- I love that word for some reason...
xD) and he's in a gang called Akatsuki. He likes to poke my forehead
and call me otouto a lot.There's also Lily and Kakashi.Kakashi
used to be our teacher in grade school, but now he's our manager, as
well as best friend. The only problem is that he liked to read pron
books call Ichi Ichi Paradise, or something like that. He also at least
has one of them on hand.Lily is the most caring person in the
world, depsite what's she been through. She and Gaara are the only
people who know about my past and the situation with Itachi. She just
transferred here, from an unknown place because of her drunken, abusive
parents. She doesn't really like talking about them, but when she does,
they are all bad things. She said that her dad drank all the time and
that he made her take cold showers and he watched her. She also has a
split personality named Dark. Dark is the slutty side of Lily. She just
recently got discovered, but she hasn't gone to the doctor because of
financial reasons. So far as we know, Dark only comes out when Lily
gets at least semi-drunk, to the point of her being flushed. Lily
always makes me and Itachi bentos and dangos everyday. She's just a
really sweet person, most of the time. But, if you mess with someone
she deeply cares about, then she gets really pissed and her naturally
silver hair turns a slightly firey red color, for reasons that even
scientists can't figure out.Then, there's me. I'm gay, emo, I
like to cross-dress, and I'm in love with my older brother. On top of
that, I get drunk at teenage parties and whore myself out. I only have
sex with other people to cover up the fact that I'm in love with
Itachi. But, no on seems to understand that. Except for Gaara and Lily,
who hate that I do that. I guess they don't understand fully. But it
made perfect sense in my head.I sighed and set down my black and
red guitar, so I could open up my case. I had a feeling that today
would be different. I put my guitar in it's case and walked over to
Lily, who had dangos for everyone. My head still hurt a bit, but I was
feeling slightly better. I did my normal fake smile and took one. The
only person who seemed to notice that I don't honestly smile unless I'm
alone with Itachi, is Gaara. Lily notices it to, it just that she
doesn't do anything about it. She doesn't want to notice it. I guess
she wants me to be happy. Like everyone else in the world. I grabbed a
dango for Itachi and headed over to where he was closing his case.
"Here ya go, Itachi." I handed it to him. He took it and murmured
thanks. I suddenly remembered something. I was throwing an alcohol
party. I knew they couldn't drink, but they could at least come. "Hey,
everyone!" I yelled. Neji, Hinata-who had just come in the room,
Naruto, Itachi, Sakura-just came in the room as well, Lily, and Kakashi
looked over at me. "I'm hosting a sex party at my house, so come and
bring lots of alcohol and be in a slutty outfit. Bring anyone and
everyone you can!" I announced. Itachi rolled his eyes and everyone
else just started talking about it. No one knew what I was really
planning.\
Sat Feb 14, 2009 11:56 am
